Words Don't Have to Leave You Powerless

Disappointments are apart of the human experience and can come in many different forms. Despite its appearance, we hold the power to choose our response.

There's an old saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Growing up, our parents taught us this in an effort to protect our emotional innocence from pain. Anytime someone would say something that was hurtful or untrue, our immediate response would be,"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". With so much confidence and boldness, we would shout our mantra as if those words possessed superpowers that would instantly ward off the hurt and pain. As children, innocent and resilient, this worked well; but as adults, we've discovered all too well that only part of this saying is true.

Words are our most powerful gift. Words create. Words inspire. Words empower. But words can also disappoint, break, and destroy. Whether written, spoken, dreamed, or imagined, words have power. Proverbs 18:21 says "Words can bring death or life! Talk too much, and you will eat everything you say." This is a reminder that we are to be good stewards of our words lest those words come back to haunt us. I have found that there are so many people who have been wounded by the words and actions of others. They replay past conversations that resonate as if they happened yesterday. Regardless of their efforts to smile or joke the hurt away or fill their lives with busy work, or over-achieve in an effort to prove those spoken words wrong; the hurt remains. But it doesn't have to.

The greatest thing about the power of words is that the same instrument used to wound was actually designed to heal. Proverbs 16:24 says “Kind words are like honey–sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 18:4 says “A person’s words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook.” Words were never meant to wound or destroy. But words in the mouth of the wounded, wounds. So how do you overcome hurtful words? By reversing its affect.

1. Practice self-love daily. The degree to which you value yourself will determine the weight broken words hold in your life. Speak well of yourself continually and allow self-love and the love of God to penetrate and heal those broken areas.

2. Learn from your experiences. The quicker you learn to evaluate bad experiences, take responsibility for your part and not assume that everything is solely your fault; the quicker you will rebound and be less likely to become stuck. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

3. Surround yourself with positive people. Only misery loves company. Build a strong community of family and friends who will speak truth to you and encourage you. Love and trust work hand-in-hand when rebuilding self-worth. It's easier to swallow truth when it comes from someone who only wants to see you whole.

4. Use journaling as an outlet to free the mind. Depending on the level of stuck-ness, our thoughts can become scattered and fragmented. Your thoughts may seem like they are running together. When you journal you relieve your mind of clutter and are able to see your thought processes and make better sense of things.

5. Prayer and Meditation. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." What a wonderful guideline to use to bring your thoughts into alignment. What a great way to set boundaries for your thoughts. We can control our thought process with a little work and consistency. We can replace prevailing negative thoughts with whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy and before you know it, the hurt has diminished, and replaced with joy, positivity, confidence and boldness. Change begins with how you see yourself.

Remember, you don't have to stay where you are. Make a conscious effort to begin the work to regain your peace of mind.

-Dr. Rob